Moving Forward

We travel through the five stages of team development in all points of life, here we are adjourning once again.

Through your comments and questions over the last 8 weeks, you have helped me move forward in a working relationship that has been a challenge. I hope I have helped you in some small way build, expand, and sharpen your communication skills.

As we move into our specialization courses I hope we can keep in touch and share in joys and questions. I invite you to continue to follow my academic blog so that we can stay connected. I wish you all the best in your endeavors as you adjourn on to your next course on your educational and professional path.

Parting Ways

I have worked on many committees and with numerous groups of people over the past 20 years in this field. Thinking back to my Head Start years, I worked within programs in which the staff became strong teams. At the close of each year, we would say good-bye in the hopes to get the chance to work together the following year. Our adjourning each May was pretty informal because we were sure our paths would cross again. 

Last year a committee I participated in finished the work we were charged with. While we said good-bye in that group context, we are all still involved in a larger committee in which we can interact and work for the common good in early childhood. O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) state, “some groups may decide to continue to work together on new tasks” (p. 258). In many of the committees I am involved with, the work is conducted in sub-committees that, when the work or project concludes, they rejoin the larger whole.

My experience has been the groups that are the hardest to leave are the ones who were small and who did have established norms. Groups that gather over a long or extended period of time are extremely hard to leave. I am two months away from saying good-bye to a group of early childhood administrators who have been a part of a training seminar that began this past January. Over the last ten months we have meshed into a close-knit group who has built trust and mutual respect. We have come to rely on one another in brainstorming and solving challenges across a number of programs. Our closing session and graduation is scheduled for five weeks from now. I know that though we are moving, or adjourning, into a new phase, we will remain connected via reunions and other communications.

References:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Strengthening Communication

Over the past couple of years, the majority of my co-workers and I have learned, examined, and began practicing the concepts learned through Crucial Conversations (just recently we have had a major increase in staff so not everyone is familiar with CC). Due to the adjustment of language used amongst co-workers, I have observed increased positive interactions between co-workers. 

In addition to be mindful of the idea of Crucial Conversations, I have identified 2 strategies that have helped me in resolving a conflict situation at work. One strategy is selective listening, defined by O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) as “listening that involves zeroing in only on bits of information that interest the listener, disregarding other messages or parts of messages” (p. 175). The co-worker with whom I am trying to increase open communication and decrease animosity and anger with is a very social person as I am. My observations of this person include a difference in our work ethics which I have allowed to color my assumptions and communication with her. I have been practicing selective listening with this person so as to highlight, in my mind, the essential pieces/statements that are important to our combined work. This has been helpful and I have noticed an increased positive spin in our interactions.

A second strategy that has been useful in my recognition of the interactions with this person is reminding myself of two core beliefs of adults: “People are inherently good and want to contribute and improve and people are doing the beset they can based on their present moment awareness” (Francis Institute, Strengths-Based Coaching®). As adults working in a filed as collaborative as early childhood must keep in mind these core beliefs as we work with others.

References:

Francis Institute. (2012). Strengths-Based Coaching®. [Participant Workbook]. Kansas City, MO.   

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Communication Evaluation

I guess what surprised me the most in my communication assessments this week was that all three score sets were within 2-3 numbers of each other! My sister and my co-worker scored almost the same as I did for myself. I really expected my sister to have a little different score just because our interactions are more socially and not in meeting-type situations. I felt like the assessment questions were very much business like.

Two additional things I learned about communication this week revolve around non-verbal communication. As much as I work on my non-verbal communication skills, I still find that people misconstrue my message at times. I am a person who wears my heart on my sleeve most times so I have to watch even closer than most that I am not sending an inappropriate message. I have also been working on using language that helps break down what I am trying to say within a group. I use humor a lot and sometimes that can be mistaken as well.

I guess my biggest lesson is the more I talk, the more I learn!

Communication in Relationships

While I carry with me the same morals, attitudes, and sense of humor wherever I go, I do interact with groups of people in varying ways. I am a very family-oriented person and we discuss topics pretty openly. At work I use much different language than with friends and family due to the specification of terms used and my work in early childhood. My neighbors and I really don’t talk much, it’s more of a casual wave across the street and a how-do-you-do while I am more open with friends and we can talk for hours about nothing and everything. 

In all of these group interactions I can change my actions to improve communication. One way in which I am working on communicating more effectively, especially at work, is to stop crossing my arms. This is typically because I do not have anything to do with my hands/arms. This is not because I am not engaged or listening to the conversation, which is the message sent. I have become very conscious of this over the last few months and work to change this habit. 

A second behavior I have been working on is listening. In all group interactions it is imperative to listen and not just wait for my turn to talk. In teaching others I must listen to the conversation and reflections from others so that I can facilitate their knowledge and scaffold their learning. I do sometimes get wrapped up in a hot topic with friends and forget to actually listen to their perspective.

A third communication skill I have noticed needs work on is being cautious of my sense of humor. Humor is one of my top strengths as determined when I participated in Values in Action, a strengths-based assessment, a year ago. I have been known to be humorous in some situations that others do not find humorous. Usually this occurs in a work or meeting scenario. 

Working on all of these skills I can become and even more effective communicator in my personal and professional life.

Communication in TV

For this intriguing assignment I chose to view episode one of 30 Rock. I have never watched this 30-minute show before and after viewing it, choose to never watch it again. It was very challenging to decipher the relationship between characters when viewing the show with no sound. Even with non-verbal communication I was unable to detect the majority of relationships. One relationship I found I was correct in figuring out was between Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey. I found their signals and facial expression to exhibit a squabbling type of relationship. 

I struggled to stay in tune with the show when viewing the silent version. Relying on non-verbal cues, all I really captured from this viewing was a lot of back and forth between scenes, scenes that really didn’t show a connectedness without verbal communication. The actual words and sound gave the show meaning, viewing it the second time. This would be my “aha” moment – our verbal communication provides the story/meaning to the conversation and/or relationship.

References:

Netflix (2012). 30 rock.

Respected Communicator

As I reflected on the blog question for this week I thought of many friends, family, and previous colleagues. I asked myself who is the one person I could always understand. While I had a some great supervisors and co-teachers who always communicated well and listened to me, I would like to share thoughts about one of my mentors. Kay is an instructor/trainer for the local Child Resource and Referral Association and I work with her on a regular basis. Through her model, I have learned an abundance of communication skills that have helped me personally and professionally.

Kay speaks eloquently and pays particular attention to relating to her audience. She makes every effort to provide examples when speaking to groups of people to enable them to make the changes needed in their programs. Kay helps shift individuals thinking. I always ask for her opinion on special projects because she I know she will bring and objective eye and an honest response. In my professional role as an instructor/trainer, I have adapted some of my adult learning techniques due to her tutelage. Like Kay, I try to foster individual thinking and growth in the professionals I train. Kay's passion for adult learning and growth has impacted me in various ways and I continue to give back as I communicate with early childhood professionals.